By Alice Huth-Derrah
On Thursday, January 22, family, and friends gathered for a Mass of Resurrection at St. Elizabeth Seton for Mrs. Eleanor Negleman who passed away on December 30. She was the cherished mother of Barb Pogioli and mother-in-law of Deacon Marty Pogioli. Eleanor had lived an amazing 104 years in this world and, judging by the warm and often humorous remembrances shared about Eleanor, hers had been a life well-lived!
The Mass was a touching ceremony honoring Eleanor through her family’s contributions of photos, music, reflections, and prayer. Before the service began, a slideshow played across the screen displaying various stages in Eleanor’s life: A radiant, very young Eleanor on the day of her marriage to her beloved husband Frank in 1942, another picture with her young daughters Kim and Barb, and yet another depicting an older, laughing Eleanor on a trampoline. The heartwarming images of an always-smiling Eleanor offered a privileged, poignant glimpse into how joyfully Eleanor participated in life.
Deacon Marty’s homily, tender, uplifting and sometimes funny, was an extraordinary tribute to his mother-in-law (whom he called “mom”) and captured the essence of an extraordinary lady. It was apparent that Eleanor had been a precious, feisty, strong, and much-loved woman. Eleanor made her way to Arizona with Deacon Marty and Barb when they moved from Illinois in 2018, and their home in Sun City West was her home. Their time together equipped Deacon Marty with many warm and amusing anecdotes to share about Eleanor. She possessed what he described as “a wicked sense of humor.” He would sometimes tease her when she was heading down the hall to her room by saying “Don’t get lost,” and “Mom would reply ‘You can’t get rid of me that easily!’” The petite Eleanor also had what Deacon Marty smilingly called an “incredible sweet tooth,” once eating “three full-sized banana splits within five hours,” and another time “Mom consumed an entire cake by herself.” Well into her eighties, “Mom was roller skating and jumping on trampolines…sometimes to simply entertain the grandkids.”
Remarkably, it had only been the last few years that Eleanor required hospice care. Until then she had been able to “keep up her own room” and “did laundry…sorting socks which she always seemed able to get paired correctly.” A life-long enthusiast of dancing, especially ballroom, Eleanor was still dancing even after moving to Sun City West and Deacon Marty claimed that he “had a hard time keeping up with her.” As a closing song the choir performed “Join in the Dance” as a fitting nod to Eleanor’s passion for dance and in living life to the fullest. The beautiful lyrics celebrating Christ’s resurrection are a profound reminder that Christ’s victory over sin and death is also a victory for those who, as Eleanor had done, “join in the dance” of faith by actively living life each and every day.
Eleanor had been a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, great-great-grandmother, co-worker, and friend, and lived her life with intention. She was clearly blessed with the greatest gifts a life well-lived can bestow – she had loved and been loved dearly. In his closing remarks Deacon Marty said, “Even though grief is hard, we would never trade the time we had with mom to forgo the sadness of loss.” In 1956, the English poet Philip Larkin wrote the poem “An Arundel Tomb” that ends with the line “What will survive of us is love,” and that is Eleanor’s enduring legacy.
