How to Get the Least and Most Out of Mass

By Steve Raml

A mentor of mine, Fr. Paul Turner, came up with some strategies for those who want to get the LEAST out of going to Mass or the Most out of Mass. Which category do you fall into?:

How to Get the LEAST Out of Mass:

· Eat a large meal just before going to church.

· Arrive for Mass late. Sit in the back of the church.

· Read the bulletin during the service.

· Don’t sing any songs or make any responses.

· Keep your cell phone turned on, and send texts.

· Chew gum.

· Mentally criticize the appearance of people you see.

· Be angry about something, it doesn’t matter what.

· Think about where you are going when Mass is over.

· During silent prayer, look at your watch or phone.

· Let your mind wander throughout mass, especially during the readings, the homily & Eucharistic prayer.

· Never offer to become an usher, lector, communion minister, server, or choir member.

· Don’t contribute to the collection, or if you do, use coins.

· Avoid eye contact during the sign of peace.

· Leave Mass early. After you receive communion, head for the door. Do not return to your seat. You may want to put your car keys in one hand while you receive communion with the other.

· Drive away as quickly as possible. If others who are trying to get the least are in your way, honk the horn at them.

· Don’t pray at home during the week, unless an emergency comes up.

Get the Most Out of Mass:

If however, you want to get the MOST out of mass, let’s counter the above list with this one:

· Don’t eat just before coming to Mass. Come hungry to receive the Body of Christ; hungry to hear the Word of the Lord.

· Come early. Socialize outside or in the gathering space with others. Get to know someone new.

· Be willing to move toward the middle if someone comes to your pew, rather than make them climb over you. It’s much more welcoming.

· Turn your cell phone off, so calls & texts can’t interrupt your prayer.

· Join in singing the songs & making the responses with your whole heart & voice. Prayer & praise of God is nothing to be bashful about.

· Pay close attention to the readings & the homily, allowing the Word of God to enter your mind & heart. Proudly profess what you believe in the Creed.

· Know what you are praying for during the Prayers of the Faithful, & take time during silent prayer to offer to God your joys, your worries, & your needs.

· Join your mind to the voice of the Priest during the Eucharistic Prayer, offering your life along with the sacrifice on the altar.

· Make eye contact as you reach out to others during the sign of peace. Really mean it when you say “Peace be with you”.

· Stay ‘til the end of Mass. We need the final blessing & reminder that what we receive at Mass in both Word & Eucharist prepares us to “go in peace to love & serve.”

· Offer to become an usher, lector, communion minister, server, or choir member. You’ll get much more out of Mass if you are actively ministering to others.

· Pray daily at home, knowing you have 167 hours during the week for your personal prayer – come to Mass for the one hour of communal prayer.